Just a Little Faith Read online

  “Don’t worry. Linc and Rangy won’t let me get in too much trouble.”

  She attempted to smile, but felt it was half-hearted at best. “I better go… security will be telling me to move my car.”

  She began to pull away when he stopped her and kissed her with a fierceness she hadn’t expected. If they had been anywhere else, she feared she would have succumbed to the desire raging through her. His lips ignited a passion deep within her and she struggled to keep her feelings at bay.

  Eventually, he pulled away. “I’ll be seeing you, Pax. It won’t be long.” He kissed her again then walked quickly into the airport.

  Pax allowed the tears to come. As much as she tried to not think about it, she feared the longer they were apart, the more chance she had of losing him, one where God didn’t even enter the picture.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  “Hey, beautiful!”

  “Hey yourself, Bash! How was practice today?”

  “It was good. I really think this Manning kid I’ve been telling you about is going to make an impact—if not this season, then next. He’s a quick study and has a real good grasp of the game. He’s made it fun.” He paused a minute. “I know he’s not much younger than me, but it’s like he’s my little brother or something. I’ve enjoyed teaching him things.”

  “I’m so glad to hear it, Bash. I know you thought your opportunities to teach young people ended with your girls’ deaths, but what a great impact you’re making on Carter Manning. I know he appreciates it a lot.”

  “We’ll see. His hitting is what’s really holding him back. If he can get that straightened out, he’ll be one to watch for sure. Hey, how’s things at LLS?”

  “Oh, Bash. The response has been amazing. Once the season officially starts, Michael thinks it will really take off. What can I say, the people of this city adore you, you know.”

  “I don’t know about that. But I’m glad to know my help seems to be giving LLS a boost. You know Pax, it’s amazing the satisfaction I’ve found from working with the LLS teams, or visiting the kids at the hospital. Even helping Carter work on his swing, it’s been…” Trying to find the right word, his voice trailed off.

  “It’s a blessing, Seb.”

  “Maybe so, Pax. Maybe so. Well, Linc’s at the door, so I’ll let you go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I miss you.”

  “I miss you too, Bash. See you soon.”

  Ending the call, he opened the door of his rented condo for Linc who jerked his head in the direction of the parking lot. “You ready Seb? Rangy said he’d be here in a minute.”

  “Yep, give me just a second. Time got away from me while I was talking to Pax.”

  “How’s she doing? Okay?”

  “Yeah, man. She’s good. Apparently the LLS campaign I’m involved in is really doing well. She’s pretty excited about the possibilities.”

  “That’s great, man.” Linc paused before he continued. “You know, I don’t want to make you feel weird or anything, but you’ve changed since you’ve been seeing Pax.”

  Seb looked up from tying his shoes. “I’ve changed?”

  “Yeah, man. Rangy and I were talking about it the other day. You’re more at ease or something. And you seem to be more content. It’s a good thing, man. Traci told me to tell you Pax is a keeper.”

  “Hmm. I don’t know, man. We’ll see. You know how I feel about settling down with anyone again.”

  Linc leaned over, putting his hand on Seb’s shoulder. “Seb, you’ve been seeing this girl exclusively for what, five months now. I don’t know what you’re afraid of. You’re practically settled as it is.”

  “I know. I guess, since we’ve never talked commitment, it makes it not so hard.”

  “Dude. You’ve got to get past these issues and realize what a good thing you’ve got going. If you wait too long, she’ll give up and you will have let the best thing in your life get away.”

  Seb supposed he agreed with Linc. He had purposely stayed away from the bar scene as much as possible out of respect for Pax. Protesting at first, Rangy seemed to finally realize how important it was to Seb. Instead, they spent the majority of their evenings together in quiet restaurants away from the crowds. It didn’t mean the fans, and especially women didn’t try to get their attention, but Sebastian realized he didn’t have any interest right now. The majority of his thoughts were on Pax. He missed her so much his chest hurt. Not spending time with her left a void in his life.

  “So, is she coming down?”

  “What bro?”

  “Does she know you bought her the plane ticket to come down?”

  “I haven’t told her yet. I wanted to give Michael a call and clear it with him for her to miss a couple of days of work. She missed a whole week back when… I don’t want to take advantage.”

  “She’ll be stoked man. Traci’s bringing the boys this week, too. It will be fun…” He collapsed on the couch beside Seb. “And exhausting, but totally worth it.”

  Hanging his head, Seb whispered. “You’re lucky, man. Keep those kids close and don’t let them get away too fast. Believe me, things can change in a heartbeat.”

  ****

  Her excitement palpable, Pax couldn’t wait to feel the touch of the airplane wheels on the tarmac. In less than fifteen minutes, she’d be seeing Seb again, and her heart raced thinking about it. In the past three weeks, they’d spoken on the phone every day, sometimes twice, but it didn’t make up for feeling his arms around her. Her skin tingled in anticipation.

  The passengers didn’t disembark fast enough and her bag banged against her legs as she walked quickly through the terminal to the other side of security, where she knew Bash would be waiting. She broke out into a jog when she saw him standing, arms open wide.

  “Bash! I can’t believe I’m here! It seems like it’s been months.” She dropped her bag, jumping into his arms encircling him as if to never let him go. Seb returned her affection with a gentle kiss on the cheek before pulling her head back and enveloping her lips with his. They remained tightly entwined for several minutes before Paxson let go and stood back to smile at him.

  He brushed her hair behind her ear. “How was your flight? Not too bad, I hope?”

  “It was fine. Just anxious to get here, I guess. I didn’t think the plane would ever land! Now that I’m here, I’m actually kind of nervous.”

  He laughed, keeping his arms around her waist. “Why would you be nervous?”

  “I don’t know. It seems silly, but this is longest we’ve been apart and, I guess, well, it doesn’t matter. We’re together again. It makes my heart happy.”

  Smiling, he pulled her to him again. “Mine too, beautiful, mine too.”

  He pointed toward her bag. “Is this all your luggage or do we need to go to baggage claim?”

  “No. I stuffed as much as possible in this bag and decided if I needed anything else I would buy it. Of course, I don’t know where I would put what I bought, but figured I wouldn’t worry about it right now.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” He took her by the hand, and together they walked out to his parked car, where he held the door open for her, and she settled in the seat. He tossed her bag in the back seat of his rental, climbed in, and soon they were heading away from the airport.

  “I’ve arranged for you to stay in a furnished apartment in the same complex several of us are living in. It’s actually right across the parking lot from my condo, so I hope you’ll be comfortable.”

  Reaching across the car, she squeezed his thigh. “Bash. I am confident whatever you have arranged will be perfect.”

  “I have three games this weekend, so between the games and our visits to the beach, you will be in the sun quite a bit. I hope you brought some sun tan lotion.”

  “I brought plenty. I’m glad to get away from the bitter winds of the city. It will be nice to actually see the sunshine for a few days. It’s so cold in St. Louis right now, I think even the snow wants to stay inside where it’s warm and dry
.”

  ****

  Seb laughed more in the thirty minute drive from the airport than he had in much of the three weeks since his arrival at training. Paxson’s fun-loving attitude was contagious, and Sebastian felt himself being cheered by the minute. He needed a dose of her positive nature for a few days. Of course, he wasn’t sure she’d be laughing after the surprise he planned for the weekend.

  Once he got her settled in her apartment, he returned to his condo to finish up his plan for tomorrow evening. Without telling Pax, he’d arranged for her to sing the National Anthem prior to their game. He just hoped she didn’t kill him. He had a gift for her, in hopes it would catch her off guard before he sprung the news on her. A visit to the beach, the gift, then the surprise. If everything went down like he hoped, she’d have plenty of time to practice singing before the game.

  That is, if she didn’t jump on the next plane out of town.

  After breakfast the next morning, Seb gave her a quick tour of Palm Beach, then stopped at the closest semi-private beach he could find. Sitting between his legs she leaned against him while they enjoyed watching the waves drift back and forth on the sand.

  “Whenever I come to the beach now, I think about you,” he rasped just above a whisper.

  “You do? Why?”

  “I remember your description of the waves when we were at the Pacific back in November. You said they made you feel God’s love all around you.”

  Paxson smiled. “I’m glad you remember it that way, Bash. I guess I thought your memories of that day would always be sad ones.”

  “Oh there are plenty of sad memories of being in California then, but seeing your face at the beach is not one of them.”

  Redness touched her cheeks, but she grinned at his compliment.

  “I, uh… well, I got you something.”

  Paxson turned to look at him. “You did what?”

  “I got you something. I hope you like it. It’s in the car, I’ll be right back.”

  He jogged to the car returning with a bag in his hand. “Sorry it’s not gift-wrapped or anything.” He collapsed on the blanket beside her, sprawling on his side.

  Paxson laughed. “That’s okay, Bash. I don’t think gift wrapping is on the top of your priority list these days.”

  She opened the bag pulling out his gift. “Bash! A Cardinals jersey? I am so going to be ready for the ballgames this weekend, actually the whole season with this!”

  Sebastian grinned and then swallowed. “Um, I got you this for a couple of reasons. One, so you would have something to wear at the ballgames and two, so you would have something to wear representing the Cardinals when-you-sing-the-National-Anthem-before-the-game-tonight.” He hoped if he spit it out fast enough it might soften the blow.

  “What did you say?”

  “You know. So you could wear it at the games and also have something to wear when-you-sing-tonight.”

  “I could be wrong, Bash, but I think in your rambling mumbling state, you said something about me singing the National Anthem before the game tonight, but that couldn’t be it. You know how nervous I get and you would never do something like that without asking first. So tell me what I heard was incorrect, Bash.”

  Concentrating on running sand between his fingers, he didn’t look up. “Um. No. Your hearing is perfect.”

  Paxson dropped the jersey to her lap. He looked up to see her mouth wide open. “I have never sung the National Anthem in public before. In fact, I have never sung the National Anthem in private before. What made you think I would sing it in front of ten thousand fans at a Major League Spring Training game?”

  “It’s not going to be ten thousand fans. I think the stadium only holds around seven thousand. And besides, I thought you might do it for me.”

  “Ten thousand or seven thousand… what’s the difference? Bash. You know, there are lots of things I would do for you. If you needed me to pick you up in a horrific snow storm in the middle of the forest at midnight on a curvy road full of twists and turns with both headlights out in my car. I would do that for you. If you needed me to drive to Louisville, Kentucky to the Louisville Slugger museum to get a special bat which is the only one you could use to face the reigning Cy Young Award Winner, I would do that for you. But this, this I cannot do for you. I’m sorry.” She leaped off the blanket and stomped down the beach as fast as she could go, flinging sand with every step.

  Sebastian sat back muttering to himself. “Well, that didn’t quite go like I had hoped.”

  He leapt up and began jogging down the shore to catch her. “Pax… Wait!”

  Chapter Thirty

  To say Pax wasn’t happy would be an understatement. She wasn’t happy in the least. It seemed explaining to Seb time and time again how uncomfortable it made her to sing in public would have some kind of impact on him. Apparently it hadn’t, since he’d gone and done this.

  She continued to stomp down the beach, sand flying in every direction, Seb caught up with her.

  “Pax. Paxson. Wait!”

  “I can’t talk to you right now, Sebastian Alexander Quinn.” She used his full name hoping he would take note of her serious manner.

  “Pax. Please. I didn’t do this to upset you. I did it because I think you have a beautiful voice, and the whole world should hear you sing. Please, Pax.”

  Her steps continued to slow until she felt Seb’s hand on her arm. “Don’t be angry, Pax. You tell me all the time, you have to do things you’re afraid of, and to just have a little faith. Well, have some faith in yourself this time. Please?”

  Paxson stopped and turned to face Sebastian, hands on her hips. “I know you meant well, Bash. I just wish you would have talked to me about it first instead of just springing it on me four hours before the game.”

  Looking down, he dragged his toe through the sand, refusing to make eye contact. “I know. I figured if I told you like this, you couldn’t say no.” He cocked his head to the side and gave her puppy dog eyes. “You aren’t going to say no are you Pax?”

  She rolled her eyes and sighed. Part of her wanted to take the chance and sing. She would never know unless she tried, right? But the other part of her? She shuddered at the thought of standing out there in front of everyone. What if she was booed off the field? But the way Seb looked at her…the utter confidence he had in her, how could she not try? The fact he threw her words of “have faith” back in her face didn’t help either.

  “I won’t say ‘no’. But next time, ask me first okay? It will save us an argument and, more than that, it will save me from wearing my legs out so much I can’t manage to put one foot in front of the other now.”

  Sebastian laughed and before she could protest, swept her up in his arms carrying her back to the blanket. “Well, we can’t have that! You need to be strong so you can stand in front of the microphone and sing your heart out!”

  Paxson couldn’t temper her laughter. She placed her head on his shoulder while he marched down the beach.

  ****

  Paxson’s nerves left her feeling nauseous and continuously looking at her watch. Only five minutes more and she’d step out onto the field to sing. She wanted to be anywhere else than standing in the Cardinal dugout. She tried to picture herself at the beach with Seb, before she remembered he was the reason for this mess. It only got her nerves going more. She attempted to reason with herself. This is no different than when I sing to the kids at the hospital. She looked around the corner at the stands full of people. Butterflies flew around her stomach with no place to land.

  She saw Sebastian come out of the tunnel which connected the locker rooms to the dugout, and walk in her direction. The smile on his face combined with the brightness of his eyes soothed her. Taking his outstretched hand, he met her eyes. “You are going to be amazing. I’ll be standing right there.” He pointed to the other end of the dugout. “Keep your eyes on me, if you like. But I promise you, when you’re done, you will only hear the roar of the crowd.”

  She nod
ded. He squeezed her hands giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before walking away.

  Dear Lord, you know how absolutely covered in nerves I am right now. I know this is a silly request, considering everything you have going on in the world right now, but give me just five minutes of peace if you can. Just long enough to get through this. I would appreciate it so much.

  And also, give me the strength to not kill Sebastian when this is over. I don’t think the team would appreciate him not being there this season.

  She heard the public address announcer ask for the people in the stands to rise and remove their hats for the singing of the National Anthem. Her name was announced. She couldn’t chicken out now. She walked out to the microphone stationed behind home plate.

  Pax took a deep breath, glancing over the crowd and the teams on the field. She caught Sebastian’s eye. His face broke out into a big grin, his hand forming a “thumbs up”. Taking a long, slow, deep breath, calmness came over her and the first note left her lips.

  When the song ended, the crowd cheered with wild abandon. A rush came over her that she couldn’t explain. It had to be one of the most wonderful feelings she’d experienced. All at once, her desire to kill Seb dissolved, replaced with a strong desire to shower him with kisses. He gave her one more thumbs up and tipped his cap before putting it back on and slipping into the dugout to get his gear. Shaking her head, she stepped away from the microphone. Giving her this gentle nudge, he’d provided her an experience like none other. What a lucky girl she was to have him in her life.

  The game that followed filled Pax with excitement and more nervous moments. She’d never watched a game when she personally knew several of the players on the field. It made a difference in her enjoyment level. She found herself biting her nails every time Seb came to the plate, or when a fly ball flew in his direction. If I am this crazed at a Spring Training game, what in the world will happen in the regular season? She tried to remind herself that as one of the team’s best players, it wasn’t like he was trying out for a roster spot. He was on the team. Spring Training allowed him more time for getting good exercise and practice in, but even then she couldn’t keep her nerves at bay.