Just a Little Faith Page 5

  Even though Seb’s door slammed shut on the driver’s side, her eyes remained closed. She heard the engine purr to life and then move when Seb shifted into drive.

  “What led you to start visiting the hospital every week?”

  Opening her eyes, she pivoted in the seat to face him. “Leukemia is a disease for all ages, but over three thousand children are affected each year. The thoughts of little innocent kids having to endure the treatments, bone marrow transplants, and such… Well, it’s pretty tough to imagine. I thought perhaps by visiting the Children’s Hospital every week, I could get a feel for not only what the kids might need, but what I could do for their families, as well. Plus, it makes the work I do seem more real. To see the treatments in action and give these kids a new lease on life is amazing. It’s a great motivation for me to keep on keeping on.”

  Seb glanced in her direction. “Some of the guys are good about visiting hospitals, schools and youth leagues. In fact, the Cardinals team itself has the ‘Cardinals Care’ program which benefits kids in the community. I’ve done some work with them, but I’ve never taken the opportunity to visit the kids myself. This will be a good experience for me.”

  She leaned back, settling in her seat. “I hope you will enjoy it. It can be difficult, but the way the kids light up when someone comes to visit…it melts your heart.”

  A short ride later, they reached the hospital. She patiently waited while Seb came around the car to open her door. Surmising they would head into the hospital, she was surprised when Seb detoured to open the trunk. Curiosity overwhelmed her. After pushing the trunk closed, Seb stood up. In one hand he held a large box.

  “I hope it’s okay I brought some things to give the kids.”

  Lifting the lid, she peered inside the box, then she looked at him, a wide smile forming. The box was filled with autographed baseballs. It must have taken him the whole morning to sign them.

  “Oh Seb! The kids will be thrilled. Not only to have you visit, but to receive these, as well. You’ll be their hero for years.”

  Continually amazed by this guy, she felt him inching his way into her heart one moment at a time.

  ****

  Following Pax up to the eighth floor to the oncology portion of the hospital, the immediate scent of… disinfectant wafted through Seb’s nostrils. No matter what hospital he visited, the odor stayed the same. Brightly painted murals covered the walls. The sounds of cartoons and video games filled his ears. Approaching the nurses’ station, Pax spoke to everyone as if she had known them her whole life. The way they welcomed her with hugs and smiles, it was apparent Pax’s weekly visits made a definite impact.

  Seb internally laughed at the many double-takes in his direction. He got similar reactions from others when he was out of uniform. He supposed they thought they knew who he was, but couldn’t quite place him. Smiling in response, he followed Pax down the hallway.

  Stopping beside a double set of doors, he peered through the window into the room. Kids of all ages filled beds and wheelchairs.

  Her soft hand touched his arm. “Let me go first. I’ll tell them I’ve brought a surprise.” Her eyes twinkled. Seb nodded in agreement.

  Hidden behind the door, Seb occasionally peered through the window to watch.

  “Hey, Pax!” The children’s smiles grew.

  Waving both her hands, she greeted them in return. “Hey guys. It is so good to see you. I hope you’re ready for a surprise. I’ve asked a special guest to come visit.” Placing her hands on her hips, she scanned the room. “Who do you think it could be?”

  Hearing the children shout various names from Mickey Mouse to the President of the United States, Seb enjoyed their enthusiasm in spite of their current circumstances.

  Holding her hands up, Pax quieted them down. “Let me give you a hint. He lives right here in St. Louis. He likes to run around a baseball field and make crazy catches in the outfield. He hits the ball right out of the park. Who do you think it could be?”

  Seb noticed several of the boys’ eyes widen, their mouths forming the words “Sebastian Quinn” before their voices caught up with their thoughts. Then suddenly, a tiny little girl with a Cardinal bandanna covering her bare head asked, “Ms. Pax, did you bring Sebastian Quinn to visit?”

  She turned toward the small waif of the girl dwarfed by her wheelchair. “I don’t know Cassandra… why don’t we see who comes through the door?” Facing the door, Pax grinned in his direction. “Oh mystery guest… will you come in now?”

  Sebastian slipped around the door, into the room. Cheers and screams erupted. A smile crossed his lips, then sadness touched his heart.

  ****

  An overwhelmed look came across Sebastian’s face. Pax reached over and grabbed his hand, hoping to give him a momentary sense of reassurance. He squeezed in return.

  The next few minutes were spent fielding various questions from the kids. Many asked standard questions like, “How did you get to play in the big leagues? Or “What kind of car do you drive?” The kids not so familiar with the sport of baseball sat quietly, seeming to glow in the excitement of someone famous being in the same room with them.

  “I think we’ve pummeled poor Seb enough with questions. Why don’t we see what he has in this box he brought? Would you like to see?”

  Cheers followed.

  Pax introduced him to each child, speaking to those in wheelchairs and surrounding beds. She tried to be kind and compassionate so each child felt loved and special. While she spoke, Seb handed them a ball showing them his autograph while parents snapped photos with their cell phones. Paxson had pondered bringing her camera for publicity photos but now she was glad she hadn’t. This was a moment between these kids and Seb. No one else needed to be a part of it.

  After speaking to each of the children she picked up her things. Sebastian helped her into her coat when little Cassandra’s quiet voice called to her.

  “Ms. Pax you can’t leave yet! You haven’t sung our favorite song!”

  Paxson froze. Giving her a quizzical look, Seb put a hand on her arm. Warmth filled her cheeks. Swallowing hard, she turned to face Cassandra.

  “Surely you don’t want to hear that after all the excitement of the day. We’ll just do it next time.”

  The children voiced their displeasure with loud booing. The sounds of “No… Ms. Pax… please!” carried across the room.

  Sebastian turned to look at Pax. She sighed, shrugging her shoulders.

  “Okay. One song… but only because you were so polite when you asked.”

  She walked toward the throng of the children a hesitant smile on her face. Quelling the nerves in her stomach she opened her mouth to sing.

  Chapter Eight

  Eyes widening, Seb stepped back. The children’s smiles softened as Pax sang of Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh in a clear, sweet and melodious voice. Seb wasn’t sure he’d heard the song before, but he understood why the kids wanted her to sing. Her voice enthralled him.

  Pax finished the song. The children broke out into applause yelling for her to sing it again, and he stopped himself before joining in with their pleadings.

  Pax shook her head no. “I really have to go. But I’ll come back next Thursday.” She walked back, putting her hand on Seb’s arm. “Be sure and thank our special guest Sebastian for coming!”

  In unison, they screamed at the top of their lungs “Thank you Sebastian!” Nodding, he smiled and waved before leaving the room. After one last glimpse at the children, he clamped his mouth shut. He wouldn’t break down. Not here. Not in front of her.

  Out in the parking garage, Sebastian found himself staring at Paxson. She mystified him to no end, and he longed to unravel all her hidden talents, no matter how many weeks it took.

  Paxson reached the passenger side of the car, waiting while Sebastian started to open the door for her. Suddenly, he switched gears and took her by the arm turning her toward him.

  “That was beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing
it with me.”

  She leaned against the car, her eyes filling with tears. “They are special people aren’t they? The way they find joy in the smallest things. You made a memory for them today, Seb. I promise, the first thing they will show the doctor, nurse or family member who visits will be the baseball you gave them. Thank you for sharing some time with them today. They won’t soon forget it…and neither will I.”

  Sebastian wanted to hold her in his arms as she let out the emotions she kept hidden from the children. Overruling his initial doubt, he tugged her toward him burying her in his arms. He felt the tension in her body release in his embrace.

  “You’ve been hiding things from me….” He whispered in a sing-song voice.

  She pulled back, a puzzled look on her face. “What do you mean by that?”

  “I had no idea you were a closet folk singer.”

  She lowered her head, leaning in his chest while groaning. “I so hoped they wouldn’t ask me to do that today. I should have known better.”

  “Why? Your voice is beautiful. You should be singing.”

  She lifted her head, her face blushing at his praise. “I sing three times a week with my church family. But to sing a solo in public is a whole different matter.”

  He looked down so his face was level with hers. “Isn’t what you just did considered ‘singing in public’?”

  She cocked her head to the side. “Not technically. Those kids are like my family. They love me unconditionally. They don’t care what you do as long as you show them kindness and compassion.”

  He pulled her close again, resting his head on top of hers. “You aren’t giving yourself enough credit. I think you are good. Not that I have a trained ear or anything.”

  They remained in that position for a few more seconds before, much to his disappointment, she stepped out of his arms.

  “Thank you, Seb, for the kind words and the hug. Some days the kids get to me more than others. I don’t know why. But I appreciate it nonetheless.”

  Seb leaned forward, looking into her eyes. “It’s okay. I was having a hard time myself. My first instinct was to get out of there. These kids had been through so much. So many of them were hooked up to IV poles or other machines with bandages all over their body. But just by us visiting them the difficulties of their day were forgotten in a moment. I admit I feel guilty. I didn’t deserve their unmerited attention. What have I ever done in this life but hit a baseball well? They are the real heroes. I appreciate your encouragement too.”

  “Well, we’re even then.” She lightly punched him in the shoulder.

  Seb reached his hand up to his shoulder acting as if she’d given him a ferocious hit.

  “Oh! So you’re also a closet boxing champion? What else aren’t you telling me?”

  Pax laughed as she climbed in the passenger seat, the sorrow of the last few moments forgotten.

  ****

  Pax found herself laughing more in the next few hours than she had in the past several weeks. Seb had a great sense of humor once he broke out of his shell. Walking through the expansive locker room of Busch Stadium, he pointed out some of his teammates’ lockers, telling her of various pranks he’d helped pull over on them in the past season. From there, he led her down the narrow hall past the coaches’ offices and into the training room. To her surprise, a few people were still there, apparently working to get the equipment and supplies put up until it was needed next season. One man in particular caught Seb’s eye, and he pulled Pax in that direction. “Yo, Scott. You ready for a quiet off-season?”

  Turning around, a middle-aged man with salt and pepper hair flashed a quick smile. “Hey Seb. How’ya doing? And you know better than to think the off-season is any quieter than the regular one.”

  Laughing, Seb put his arm around Pax and nodded in Scott’s direction. “Scott, meet Paxson Taylor. Pax, this is Scott Turner. He’s the head trainer for the team. He tries to make sure we all stay in tip-top shape all season round. If we don’t, he’s liable to send us to the principal’s office.”

  Pax extended her hand, and Scott grasped it in a warm grip. “It’s nice to meet you Pax. Is Seb here giving you the dime tour?”

  Deciding to get in a little bit of ribbing herself, Pax grinned. “Well, since Seb’s the one giving it, I guess it’s worth more like a nickel.”

  “I like this one, Seb. She’s a keeper.” Scott’s smile was infectious.

  “I thought so, until she insulted me.” He squeezed her waist. “Well, we’ll get out of your way. You don’t work too hard.”

  “Nah. Never do, Seb. As long as you guys do your part, I can just sit on the sidelines and enjoy the sun. Nice to meet you, Pax. Watch out for that one. He looks innocent enough…”

  “Hey… What are you trying to do, Scott?”

  Scott’s boisterous laughter echoed through the hall as they continued out of the room.

  After the insider’s tour of Busch Stadium, they walked to a nearby diner with an all-day breakfast menu. Over an omelet and some of the fluffiest pancakes she’d ever put in her mouth, Seb regaled Paxson with some of the unfortunate outings experienced with Rangy and Linc.

  “I’m beginning to believe there is a never a dull moment when you’re with the two of them.” Paxson smiled hearing the end of yet another tale.

  “They’re my best friends. We’ve been playing together for over four years now which, in baseball terms, is like a lifetime. They keep me on my toes, or, well, Linc would say we keep him on his toes. When you meet them, you’ll understand more what I’m talking about. Although, it might be easier to not introduce you to them at the same time… you might have to wear some body armor or something.” Seb chuckled to himself at the thought.

  Pax remained frozen in her seat. Meet his friends? For some reason, it had never crossed her mind he might want her to get to know his friends. The thought frightened her. This thing between them seemed to be going…somewhere, and fast.

  “You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

  “Oh… No.” She smiled to offset his concern.

  Pushing her omelet around with her fork, Pax paused before speaking. “’I’ve been meaning to ask you, since the season is over, will you get some opportunities to see your girls? I mean, with the holidays coming up…”

  Sebastian’s face darkened, the empty hand resting on the table forming a fist. “I have a second home in California, and I sometimes head to the coast before Thanksgiving. On occasion, Melissa lets the girls spend the holiday weekend with me, but if it doesn’t work out, I’ll either stay here for the holiday or go out and spend it with my Mom and Dad, who live about three hours from Melissa’s. I should get to see the girls at least for a weekend or so over the course of December and I see them every Christmas Eve.”

  Reaching across the table, Pax enclosed her hand over his fist. “I am sorry the holidays aren’t better for you, Seb. I know God has blessed me with a wonderful family. I hope it will improve for you before long.”

  “Yeah...I can hope it might one day.” He moved his hand to take hold of hers. “Speaking of blessings, you mention God and blessings a lot. Your faith is pretty important to you I gather?”

  Pulling her hand back to her lap, she thought she saw a moment of disappointment cross his face. “Oh yes. It is the most important aspect of my life. My parents raised me to rely on God first and foremost. He will always look out for me. It doesn’t mean I don’t have struggles and difficulties, but in general, God has made my life a pleasant one.”

  “Earlier you mentioned singing in church…three times a week? I don’t think I have ever met anyone who goes that much. Why so often?”

  Pleased because he appeared to want to know more about her faith, Pax also tempered the emotion knowing he was probably more curious than truly searching for the Truth. But she was happy to answer his questions. Who knew where his queries might lead? She had learned in the past to never dismiss an inquisitive mind when it came to spiritual matters.


  “Well, I guess we do meet a lot. But our coming together three times a week is more of an encouragement for all of us. Of course, we’re there to worship and praise our Father, but it is almost a good boost of ‘You can do it!’ to each other. It helps keep us focused on what is most important.”

  He nodded. “Your faith… is it tied in to why you don’t drink? I remember you mentioned it when I first asked you out.”

  “It is part of the reason. I know alcohol and strong drinks can mess with your mind if you let it. I made the decision long ago to not even try those things because I didn’t want to chance it could control me. The Bible mentions in Proverbs ‘Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.’ My mouth gets me in enough trouble. I sure don’t need to encourage it any more than usual.”

  Sebastian was quiet as he digested this information. “Well good for you in sticking to your faith. A lot of people aren’t that dedicated. I have to admit, I was afraid at first you were a recovering alcoholic or something, and I was going to lead you down the path of destruction.”

  Pax smiled…but part of her wondered too. If she didn’t start thinking with more of a clear mind, she might indeed be heading down a path full of nothing but temptation and heartache.

  ****

  Back at the LLS office, Sebastian helped Paxson out of his car then walked her the short distance to her vehicle. “Once again Ms. Taylor, you have made my evening fun. And thank you again for inviting me to go with you to see the kids. I need to do more of it in the future. You were right, it brings a lot of joy to the kids but even more so to those who visit.”

  “I’m glad you were able to come with me. It was a fun evening, wasn’t it?”

  He hesitated a moment. “You think you’re free tomorrow? We could catch a movie or something?”